Interim Adoptions

People with guns suck. I don't care if I'm generalizing. That's how I feel today.

Also, I'm getting very concerned with messages I'm seeing on China adoption sites. I've been meaning to blog about this for a while now. Since the wait time for China is lengthening significantly (some places are predicting up to a 3 year wait after paperwork is logged in), everyone seems to be talking about 'interim adoptions'. As in: I want a baby now, so I'm going to jump over and adopt a baby from a different country while I'm waiting for the baby I really want to come home from China.

I'm not saying it's wrong to change countries. We've done it :) However, the message I'm getting is 'we're sticking with China, but it's not going fast enough so I'm going to do this first'. That's bad for several reasons, and I'll enumerate a couple here because it's my blog and I can complain if I want to...

1) You're sending a message to your 'interim adopted child' that you can't wait for the child you started the process for. Your first child will actually be your 'second choice'.
2) You supposedly were drawn to China for a reason. You did your research. You made the decision and started the process and went through six months of paperwork to get to this stage. And now you're jumping to any country with a 'fast' program without going through due process.
3) Vietnam seems to be a popular country for the 'interim adoption' threads. I'll say this as clearly as possible: Any program that promises infant girls with a quick referral and short travel time is not acting ethically. To think that you can start the process now and have your tiny baby girl home in 6-9 months is not possible. Even with a super fast homestudy revision. Even with an I-600 already approved for 2 kids. Not happening. Not legally anyway. If you liked China because of the stable process and ethical government oversight, then why is it okay to adopt quickly through another country... ANY country... without worrying about ethics?

I completely understand that three years is an unacceptable amount of time to wait for your child. One of the many reasons we switched from the Korea program was the uncertain lengthening time frame. But what happens if the China program speeds up? Placements within a year of each other are typically not allowed. Do you then resent your first adopted child because he or she has caused you to 'miss out' on your Chinese daughter? Or do you drop your interim referral if your China referral comes through before you travel to whatever country you've gone to for a quick process?

Fast isn't necessarily better. I know it feels like it sometimes. Lord knows, I'd like a little 'fast' in our process right now. But there are consequences.